1st night and 1st day in Vancouver

link to my other blog http://teachercareless.blogspot.com/

Finally Finished!

Two months of torture of my students and me finally came to an end this afternoon! Today was the final of English speech contest in our school. For these three weeks before the contest, I had been tortured by these preparations for the speeches, and the students suffered no less than I. They were forced to use their limited vocabulary to write their own speech scripts. And when they handed in their scripts for me to revise, they had to face the fact that their scripts were not good enough to be presented as a speech, and so, they had to modify their contents again and again until they had almost lost their confidence. This work of writing the scripts had already taken them a large amount of time but this was just the first step. Then, when their scripts were finally done, they had to memorize the speech and practice it over and over. Besides all this, they had to prepare for the impromptu speech at the same time. Impromptu speech is usually the most feared by the contestants. Few students can feel at ease with this kind of speech, because it easily reveals students' English proficiency. "Practice makes perfect" can't be applied to this kind of speech. What they only can do is practice not being too nervous while doing the impromptu. And during the training, I didn't know what constructive suggestions I could give to my students in terms of impromptu speech, because I couldn't do that, either.
Anyway, everything is over now. I have also learned something from this experience of training my students for this contest. I know I still have to work hard to sharpen up my English; I still have to overcome my fear of speaking English; I still have to give myself some challenges once in a while. As my students like to quote most in their essays, "Life isn't a bed of roses." When one challenge is over, there will be others soon. I think I'd better start to prepare for next contests.

March 18

I have been very busy since the school started this semester. Besides the classes to catch, the rest of time I have to prepare lessons and correct students' essays. Moreover, there will be English speech and composition contests this semester. And I have to train as many as 20 students. I started training very early because I know people have more expectations for these students from language gifted students. Adding to all this, I have to write several recommendation letters for the students who are applying for some certain scholarships. Despite being busy at work, I still insist on playing badminton after work twice a week. All these things make my week days very busy but enriched. Sometimes I feel that I am like accumulating my tiredness to a large amount that I can relieve at a time on weekends. So, almost every weekend, I spend a lot of time sleeping or taking a long nap. Then, my fatigue will be removed and I am refreshed again to face the following busy week.
The first mid-term exam is coming, and this is a time I can take a short rest because I only have to monitor students taking tests those three days. Recently, I have started to try to read Doris Lessing's "The Golden Notebook." I know it's a very long and difficult one. After all, it's the work that Lessing got the Nobel Prize for. However, I want to challenge myself. Even if I can only understand part of it, I still want to finish it. Also, the prize for fininshing this book will be four new pieces of clothing. Haha!

Feb. 16

Hurrah! I finished another English novel just now! This one is Jodi Picoult's The Tenth Circle. It's great! Very intriguing! This is the third Picoult's novel I have read. The first one I read is the Chinese edition of Nineteen Minutes, which is like an open door that leads me to Picoult's literary world. The story of Nineteen Minutes starts with a campus massacre that leads to a series of investigations that unravel layer by layer the causes or the motivations of the shooting. When I was reading this novel, I was amazed by not only the author's talent of weaving a complicated story but also her profound knowledge of pyschology. Reading her book, you can't take the side of any single character because there's neither genuine good guys nor villains. Picoult gives every character a chance to expose themselves, whether their dark sides or bright sides, to the readers. Likewise, you can not really sympathize with any one of the characters. The stories of Picoult's novels are always like a line of cause and effect. One event will inevitably lead to another, and another, and another. Every tragedy seems to have its roots. On the other hand, every tragedy in Picoult's world can be understood, yet can't always be explained because humans are a composition of half reason and half emotion, which is so real-life. And that's why I love reading her novels because I like reality, or more exactly, I like to see how artists depict reality. The second novel of Picoult's I read is My Sister's Keeper. Although the setting of this story is most likely in the future with a technology of cloning human beings, the way she tells the story is still realistic. I remembered I cried several times when I was reading the novel because I could feel the helplessness of each character that somehow caused them to make a cruel decision. Also, I could also feel the struggle in each character's mind between sacrificing others and self-sacrifice. The topic of this novel seems simpler and easier to understand than that of the Nineteen Minutes, which invovles such issues as bullying on campus, dysfunction of family as well as education system. The topic of My Sister's Keeper mainly surrounds an ethical issue--- whether one can decide another's right of living. And if I am to choose one of Picoult's novels for my students for their reading class, I will choose this one for the reason I just mentioned above--the topic is easier to discuss.
As for the latest one I just finished--The Tenth Circle, I might as well give my reviews next time because I am tired from squeezing those unfamiliar English words in my above reviews and I also need some time to digest the story.
And, and, I will have to find some time tomorrow to drop by the Caves Bookstore to purchase some new English novels for my game of "one novel, one piece of clothing"!

Jan. 16 2009

I had a big fight with my mom today. Now, I am feeling bad yet I still don't want to give in. I don't want to apologize to her because it was she that started the fight with me. I said something very cruel to her during the fight to hurt her feelings purposely. I did it because she first hurt me. A tiny mistake or negligence, through her malicious and sour words, can always turn into an unforgivable sin. Everytime when I make a mistake due to my carelessness, I, as a daughter, will be denied in all respects. I admit that I am not very obedient and understanding as a daughter. However, when every mistake caused by my carelessness is explained by my mother as the consequence of my unconcern for my family, I can't accept this accusation and don't want to tolerate her scolding, and so I will fight back. When I start to fight back, always with feelings that have been hurt very badly, I will unavoidably use some piercing words to deliberately hurt her. And then, she will say more devastating words to hurt me in return. Our relationship is sometimes like a vicious circle which never ends and become worse and worse. I know if I wait a few more seconds before I burst out cursing, the fight will end soon and my mother's anger will be relieved after she let her cursing words flow. But it's really hard to control my own anger and not to defend when falsely accused. And if I succeed in controling my anger and try to defend in a calm way, she still doesn't listen and just goes on her curse. Then, I will get really pissed off and then the fight will be a fierce and destructive one. Sometimes, I think maybe it is not until I move out that I can really get out of this deadlock of the relationship with my mom. And today, I really said to her that I didn't want to live with her anymore, which really hurt her feelings. But, actually, as soon as I said these words, I felt regret because she might have interpreted my words as my reluctance to take care of her and even worse, my eagerness to abandon her. What should I do???!!!

Keep this in mind!

The Last Lecture-Chapter 24 page 112
....But in my mind, a better number one goal was this: I wanted to help students learn how to judge themselves. Did they recognize their true abilities? Did they have a sense of their own flaws? Were they realistic about how others viewed them?

Randy Pausche is not only an excellent scholar but also a great educator! He is always reflecting on how to do things better. No wonder he was so admired by the world. As a teacher, I think I have to set a higher goal to view myself as an educator. Helping students to become more postive and socially adapted is more important than teaching them knowledge which they might access anytime. I should always keep the above words in mind!

A passage in "The Last Lecture" that moved me to tears

Leaving the doctor's office, I thought about what I'd said to Jai in the water park in the afterglow of the speed slide. "Even if the scan results are bad tomorrow," I had told her, "I just want you to know that it feel great to be alive, and to be here today, alive with you. Whatever news we get about the scans, I'm not going to die when we hear it. I won't die the next day, or the day after that, or the day after that. So today, right now, well this is a wonderful day. And I want you to know how much I'm enjoying it." I thought about that, and about Jai's smile. I knew then. That's the way the rest of my life would need to be lived.


Randy Pausch keeps describing himself as a comoputer nerd in the book. Yet, he is the kind of nerd who can express his emotions and feelings so well. His strong will and optimism have really made him a moder hero!