Down

As soon as I stepped into the classroom of 112 this afternoon, I sensed something different in the air. The atmosphere was kind of tense. Studnets seemed to be a little down and unenergetic. I knew part of the reason was that they couldn't go to the auditorium to watch their seniors' chorus contest. Their class schedule is different from the other classes because they are so-called "language talented" students and the school has given them many extra classes and lectures. When all the other classes attend activities of student clubs, they have to stay in the classroom studying. I don't like this arrangement at all, but I can do nothing to change it. Everytime when I see the disappointment on students' faces, I feel helpless, too. They know they are treated specially by the school, but they don't know they are sooooo special that they even can't participate in some school activities. When I sensed this disappointment today, I again played the role of offering some comfort to them. However, I found my words didn't work at all on them. They still looked dispirited. Then, I realized there must have something else happening in the morning. I stopped my teaching to ask them what had happened to them. I was showing my concern and sincerity, but they seemingly didn't know how to tell me(or maybe they just didn't want to tell me.) Now, I was discouraged. I thought that I was their homeroom teacher whom they could trust and count on most. I tried my best to stand in their shoes and encourage them. But it seems I am still not a teacher whom they can really rely on and talk anything to. At last, there were some students telling me that they were down maybe because their math teacher had a serious conversation with them in her class. What the math teacher told them has some effect on them. Ok, at least this explains some part of their discouragement. Although I don't really think that's the real reason, I try to believe them. When I finished my class, on the way back to my office, I was thinking, "Maybe I think too much. Maybe I worry too much." Sometimes, students would get low in spirits for no reason. It may be the change of weather; it may be the weariness from their over-loading homework and tests. Perhaps I have to learn to not bother myself with these questions so that I can be calmer and more stable to help them go through these problems. From this experience, I realize that I care more about them than I thought. That means the there is more pressure to manage this class than I expected.